Customer service

How to rip-off customers

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Jonar Nader says that the role of managers is to rip-off customers, so long as managers deliver on their promise, and so long as customers are willing to pay with pleasure.

There are two videos below. The second one is of a higher quality for those with high-speed internet connection. The first video is 14 Mb. The second is 27 Mb. Video length is 8 minutes and 32 seconds. Further below is a transcript of the video.

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Here is the transcript:

Jonar Nader: Your staff, your quality, your customers. Now, let’s talk about customers. They’re a pain in the neck, I know. And I don’t love customers, I assure you. If I could be rich without customers, I’m happy. And why do people care about customers? For the wrong reason. If I ask you why are customer is important, everyone is going to say, ‘Oh, because they pay our bill and all the rest of it.’ That’s miserable. I don’t want you to love me because I pay your bills. I don’t want to marry you because I’m the one who’s going to pay the mortgage. I don’t want you to treat customers well because they pay you – that is a bad unhealthy user-relationship, isn’t it? I don’t want that. I want my staff to treat my customers well not because of my customer.

I have thousands of DVDs and CDs and not one of them is copied. I’m stupid. I’ve got friends who got 4000 and never paid for one of them. They download everything off the net. No artist ever knows. It doesn’t matter. I just simply don’t do it. That’s just me. I’m silly. That’s my rule. And therefore, in my business, I’m silly. My rule is, I don’t care about the customer. I care that every staff member follows the ethos of mine which is do your very jolly best at every time you can. And improve because customer service is not about pleasing the customer. It’s about the perpetual personal improvement. And if you are not a perpetual improver, you can’t get to where I’m about to take you in this presentation.

So don’t worry about customers. Worry about do we have a culture that authorizes someone to say, ‘That’s a very nice lectern; is there anything we can do to improve it?’ Now, people will take that as criticism or is never satisfied. I could put diamonds up there and Jonar is never satisfied. Well, it’s not that, you see. You’re being unreasonable. I’m just saying, ‘Can we improve it?’ And we should always have that sense of authority within us from the lowliest of the juniors. Let’s go by the way to the lowliest of the juniors. Where do you find them?

Jonar Nader: Generally in an organization, let’s say for argument’s say, the forklift driver is the junior. Now, here’s a test. The question is this. Now I know we’re talking about customers. I’m digressing a moment. The question is this, to whom is that forklift driver responsible? Warehouse supervisor or maybe warehouse manager.

Jonar Nader: Would you agree? Give or take? They’re responsible to the warehouse manager. Now the warehouse manager is downstairs. They’re usually responsible to somebody upstairs.

Jonar Nader: The warehouse manager is responsible to the warehouse director or the logistics director or such like. I’m following a path which will get us to where I was. To whom are directors responsible? The warehouse director, the marketing director, the finance director, the sales director generally report and are responsible to whom?

Jon Nader: The CEO, the managing director. Would you agree? Now, this quiz is getting harder because now you have to think extra hard. To whom does a CEO or the managing director generally – to whom are they responsible? Speak up. So let’s get one or two.

Jonar Nader: The board and you say shareholders. Well see, I’m taking you from the bottom up. You have to go step by step and you say the board.

Jonar Nader: I would agree with that. The CEO is responsible to the board, correct? Yes, the deep dark board. Now, it’s getting harder. To whom – this board around this table, this table, to whom is the board responsible? I hear shareholders. Do I hear anything here?

Jonar Nader: You can’t call a friend.

Jonar Nader: For 10 points. Well, yes, everyone would say the shareholder but you would know by now in the few minutes I’ve been up here, I’m a contrarian. I cannot agree with everybody else in the world because everybody else in the world agrees that it is the shareholder but I pray to – and beg to differ because you see, the shareholder and the board are one entity. The shareholder brings the money. The board brings the strategy that implements the skill and the expertise. The shareholder brings the capital and the board and the management bring the time or the intellectual capability. You are one and not one or to be subservient to the other.

And here begins the problem because the board is solely focused on serving this almighty master called the shareholder and the shareholder and the board are in cahoots. Because what do they do? They come together bringing brain power, time and management with capital, money, and access. And they come together to do what? To make a promise to an innocent third party called the customer.

I don’t give a hoot about the customer. I give a hoot about the ethos and the ethos says we collectively have come together and made a promise to an innocent third party. And what do we do about it? Do we deliver on our promise to that innocent third party? And if we do, this is where we are authorized to charge more. Look at how it works. You find your self a toaster and you say to the person selling you the toaster, ‘What on earth are you charging me $100 for?’ And I’ll say, ‘Well, there’s packaging. That’s $3.50. It’s all color and it’s plastic and then there’s the cord and the wire, that’s 92 cents. And then there’s the electrical componentry and the integrated circuit and the metal and–’ Yes, keep going. Well, then there’s my time as the manager of the toaster company and my car and my staff and the air-conditioning and the forklift. Yes, that comes to $87.50. You’re charging me $100. What’s this for? Well, let me think. There’s the advertising and the fact that we have to have a conference and play golf. So that comes to $90.

So I’ve asked you to itemize the toaster that you are charging me $100 for and the best you can do is come up with $90. What’s happening then? There’s 10 bucks. You’ve made a mistake. There’s 10 bucks. Yes. Well, why do you want to charge me that 10 bucks? I say, ‘Never you mind. Just give it to me. That’s my share. That’s my profit.’ Right? That’s profit. It’s Mafia country. I just – you owe me 10 – so every time a customer pays for that toaster, they’re paying $10 of free money. That works every time. Money is 100 percent robust. But I take the toaster home, it doesn’t work. Who ought to be hanged for that? He has got my perfect money. I have the imperfect toaster. So the board and the shareholders ought to be totally focused on making sure that when I give them perfect money, they give me a perfect toaster. And if it doesn’t work for some strange, physical reason, then I don’t want to spend 20 hours on the phone and send it back and will take three weeks to repair it and stuff you make basically. And we’ve got your 10 bucks.

And what we need to do is to get the board and the shareholders together to find a way to actually rip off the customer even more because your job is not to settle for 10 bucks. It’s to make it 20 and 30 and there ought to be no shame in saying, ‘You bet I make a lot of money on this toaster.’ Now, it’s up to you to decide. Take it or leave it. I should have busted my guts making you a toaster that’s cheaper and all the rest of it. I want peace of mind. I have my own ethics. That’s what I’m delivering and you bet it will sell. But can we – can they buy it with pleasure? That’s the next step.

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