The following are approximately the first 1000 words from Chapter 13 of Jonar Nader’s book, How to Lose Friends and Infuriate Your Boss.

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Having the courage to ask for a pay-rise

Why is it that some people earn a lot of money, while others have to struggle with a low wage — always remaining one pay packet away from poverty? Why is it that some employees cannot pluck up enough courage to confront their boss for a pay rise, while others are showered with bonuses? This chapter will outline some of the strategies that you could consider next time you feel deserving of more money.

The first question to you is, are you able to justify your current salary? This is a poignant question, because if you really assess what value you add to your employer, it might be revealed that someone else would be willing to do your job for less pay.

Very few employees can justify what they earn — not because they are not willing to do a good job, but because what they do for the company is not worth the wage and add-on costs. This is not to say that people do not want to work hard. As organisations grow, their structures often lead to diminishing productivity. The larger they become, the more cumbersome they are. Eventually, employees have no choice but to slow down and go at the pace of the organisation.

When employees realise that they are not earning their way (even if it is through no fault of their own), they make it their business to look busy. Often, they learn the art of ‘fussing about’ just so that others might assume that they are productive or useful. The manipulators know how to create drama so that they can distract everyone into believing that they are attending to important issues. In such organisations, everyone soon learns what was meant by ‘much ado about nothing’.

We live in a world that is governed by the economic law of ‘supply and demand’ whereby people value products and services based on demand. For some commodities such as oil, the prices fluctuate daily. As far as salaries are concerned, they fluctuate less frequently, depending on the level of importance that society places on each profession. For example, computer programmers cannot charge what they like, because the law of supply and demand governs their hourly rates — which in the early days of computing were often higher than what lawyers were earning. More recently, with programmers being plentiful, they have not been able to command a high price except in times of crisis, such as when a serious computer virus hits cyberspace.

Notwithstanding such market forces, why is it that some people can attain a high income, while others sustain a low income? Is the person whose salary is ten times higher than yours actually ten times smarter or ten times faster or ten times better than you? This is rarely possible. For example, the winning horse that earns 100 times more prize-money than the horse that comes second, is not 100 times faster. If that were the case, it would have reached the finish line before the other horses could blink. In fact, the winner is neither 100 times faster nor two times faster. Sometimes the race is so close that a photo-finish is required to determine the champion. Life is sometimes like that. Those who earn a lot of money are not much better or smarter. They are merely able to get to the finish line first. They do this by thinking ahead, strategising, and then working methodically while making some sacrifices along the way.

The right what?

Open any book about personal development, and you can read about the importance of ‘having the right attitude’. Although I have heard it all my life, no-one has been able to define that for me. It seems that the onus is always on employees to have an attitude that allows them to meet the demands of their employer.

A healthy attitude about work is one that is balanced. It delivers excellence and demands excellence. It shows flexibility and demands flexibility. It gives energy and demands energy. If someone has brainwashed you into believing that having the right attitude means that you have to dig into your good nature to give, give, give, then you are allowing yourself to be abused.

Yes, the first step to securing a prosperous career does start with the right attitude. That does not mean kowtowing to anyone, least of all to your boss. What is your attitude to your relationship with your boss? Are you employed because your employer needs you personally, or does your employer just need ‘a person’ who could just do the job?

Are you doing your boss a favour by getting the work done, or is your boss doing you a favour by employing you? How do you feel about the ‘supply and demand’ relationship with your boss?

When people are perplexed by this question, I pose this scenario to them; supposing that your boss wants you to work an extra hour per day, do you feel that you have the courage to ask how you would be compensated for that time? Regardless of the notion that a little give-and-take is desirable, do you feel that you have the strength and conviction to bargain? If not, you do not have the right attitude.

If you allow your boss to take up more of your time, that is fine if you feel that you are learning from the experience, and that your time is not being wasted. You have to think of your time as a vital resource. You need it to invest into other important areas such as in your future, education, or family. If, with every day that passes, you do not nurture your future, you will get stuck in a rut.

When a boss abuses an employee’s time, many workers justify this by convincing themselves that they are showing flexibility, when in fact they do not have the courage to confront their boss with their real feelings. How on earth can that be a healthy attitude? Employees with the right attitude are those who choose their decisions. For example, if you are polite because you know of no other way, you are not being polite. If you tolerate someone because you have no other means available to you, you are not being tolerant. Rather, this makes you passive and helpless because you have no control over your emotions and your feelings, and no control over your actions. If you let your boss take up your time, and you have not consciously and completely decided to allow that to happen, you will forever permit others to chip away at your health and well-being.