The following are approximately the first 1000 words from Chapter 15 of Jonar Nader’s book,
How to Lose Friends and Infuriate Your Boss.

Move over:

It’s my turn at the wheel!

The grass looks greener on the other side, especially on the patch where the impressive ivory tower stands tall, housing senior executives who appear to be having a ball in their plush offices. We tend to associate the ‘big guns’ with luxurious lifestyles of fine dining and exquisite fashion, buoyed by whopping pay packets that make most employees salivate at the thought of climbing the corporate ladder for a stint on the throne. If wealth and power are the hallmarks of seniority, wouldn’t everyone strive for a share of the action?

Business people’s level of importance is reflected in their job title, making senior executives more important than general staff, despite efforts by some managers to convince us that it is not true. The perceived power and authority of senior executives sparks a desire in many staff members to advance their own career in the hope that they might reach such celebrated heights.

Although consensus management and empowerment are often espoused, very few organisations give their staff members the necessary autonomy to make decisions that can shape their present or future environment. This results in frustrated employees who feel that the only way to effect change or to make worthwhile contributions is to ‘get behind the wheel’. The desire to become the boss is born out of practical or egotistical needs, or of social expectations.

This chapter explores some of the issues that surround the notion of ‘becoming the boss’. Chapter 17, ‘Heads or tails?’ outlines the fifteen personal qualities that will be important for bosses of the future.

Show me the way, then follow me

Unfortunately, the impressions that are formed about what it means to be the boss are invariably inaccurate. Remember, if your fantasy starts from a distance, keep your distance. Although there is much satisfaction in being the boss, the rude shock of the experience can destabilise many managers.

Experienced debaters know that the best way to confuse an opponent is to make statements that cannot be disputed. For example, no-one would disagree with the statement, ‘employees must have the right attitude’ or ‘human life is precious’. Similarly, no-one would disagree that ‘successful bosses are those who can lead successfully’. Times have changed, and these days, the boss is not necessarily the one who sets the direction or apportions the resources. Tokenism is rife in corporate life, so take care to understand what you are letting yourself in for when you go after the top job.

In qualitative research, managers have admitted that what drove them to attain senior positions were intangible desires that were ill-defined or misplaced. In the same way that teenagers might plead with their parents to buy them a computer so that they can ‘do their homework’ (when in fact their real intention is to play computer games or surf the Net), many managers seek to be promoted for reasons that they never articulate, for fear of retribution. On the surface and at the job interview, they say that they would like the top-job so that they can make a major contribution to the organisation. They speak about ‘adding value’ or ‘leading the team’, when in their heart they fantasise about their increased importance, bigger salary, and improved social status.

Like an embarrassing situation that no-one wants to deal with, managers avoid mentioning their real feelings about the remuneration package, pretending that the salary does not matter, when, deep down, they know it is an important part of their negotiations. They think that it would be ‘bad form’ to discuss the salary so early in the courting ritual. Nonetheless, those who seek the top-job most certainly seek to maximise their income. Sometimes they seek to secure a salary package that verges on the obscene. For more about bosses who earn a huge salary, see Chapter 16, ‘Bread in captivity’.

Other subconscious desires include the perception that reaching the top would look good on our résumé or make us more attractive or likeable. Some people want to be in a position to flaunt their title so that they can get what they want in terms of service, privileges, or special treatment. They might even have a deep-seated desire to make others feel afraid of them, although they would never admit to this, for fear of being called an egomaniac or a powermonger.

As you can imagine, these are feelings that can lead to disaster because they are not based on solid foundations. If you really want to become the boss, you must search your heart to identify what the driving force is. If it is a yearning for social acceptance or a longing for a dramatic life modelled on a movie character, you will be sorely disappointed to learn that your efforts will be in vain. Although power can be intoxicating, the elation is short-lived because the responsibilities of your position would soon weigh you down.

The best starting position would be your aspiration to create a better environment, whether that be for your staff or for your customers. It could be that you aspire to create a better product or to deliver a better service. When these noble qualities ignite your quest to become the boss, you can feel confident that you are starting your journey on solid foundations. The best bosses are those who can see the big picture and then improve their skills so they are well prepared to lead the team to successful and honourable outcomes.

If your desires are fuelled by egotism, you will have a miserable time at the top. Only you will know your real intentions. Naturally, like a child who is fixated on wanting a particular toy, you might not want to listen to reason. Search your heart and steer clear of desires that aren’t based on a need to create better environments or superior products and services.

Hopeless managers are those who say, ‘Promote me now, and I’ll work on my weaknesses.’ It is likely that they do not have a clue about what their weaknesses are, and they would not listen to advice. Successful managers are those who say, ‘Before I undertake this important mission, I’ll identify my weaknesses so that I can either eradicate them, or learn to work with experts on whom I can rely to complement my strengths.’