The following are approximately the first 1000 words from Chapter 17 of Jonar Nader’s book,
How to Lose Friends and Infuriate Your Boss.

Heads or tails?

The biggest bet of all

Ambitious people try to ascertain each other’s aspiration by asking, ‘Which would you rather be, the head of a chicken or the tail of a tiger?’ In other words, would you prefer the autonomy of being the owner of a one-person small business (the head of a chicken), or an insignificant player in a huge organisation (the tail of a tiger)?

If you are a serious go-getter, you might be dissatisfied with both options. You might prefer to reach the pinnacle of your profession and become the ‘head of the tiger’ by going a few steps further up the ladder, to take the ultimate job.

If you hanker after the top job, you will need certain skills to navigate the journey’s hazardous terrain. Chapter 15, ‘Move Over’, explores some of the administrative skills that you must develop if you are to become the boss. This chapter outlines the personal qualities you will need if you are to join the ranks of high-flyers who run their own business or who control giant corporations from dizzying heights.

Before I list the fifteen personal qualities that I have found to be present in over ninety percent of credible high-earning executives, try this exercise: ask your friends what they consider to be the important qualities that successful executives or business owners need to possess. Most people come up with politically-correct and socially-approved qualities such as integrity, vision, foresight, leadership, drive, energy, trust, respect, imagination, direction, confidence, and ambition.

Next, ask your friends about what they understand these words to mean. It is all well and good to aspire to righteous and dignified qualities, but how do these qualities really become part of who we are? Personal characteristics are those behaviours that are ingrained into our life.

Let us examine one word that commonly crops up: courage. Courage is seen as being the opposite of fear (something with which we are all familiar). We know that fear can consume our whole body, making our heart pound faster and our mouth go dry. But what does courage do to our body? If we examine its essence, we can see that courage neither eliminates nor sedates fear. In fact, fear is a vital signal used by winners to understand their limits. Courage must co-exist with fear.

Courage is useful when we commit to do what must be done, and to fight for what must be won, even if it means losing friends, infuriating the establishment, and feeling scared out of our wits.

Courage enables us to face the facts, so that we can identify and then disregard the dangers. Courage is not about subliminal conditioning, but about facing the problems head-on, as they are, not as we would wish them to be. Courage prevents external dangers from extinguishing our resolve. We have to confront our fears with clarity, because only when we can see the problems as they truly are, will we be in a position to do what must be done.

Furthermore, we have to understand the differences between moral courage and physical courage, and act even while terrified, opposed, threatened, intimidated, and/or humiliated. And even after we begin to absorb courage, we need to expand upon our understanding of it by learning about its ‘moons’, such as bravery and audacity.

Courage is just one example from the list of personal attributes that are usually deemed essential for successful executives. Additionally, high-flyers (sometimes called ‘top-level’ executives) possess qualities that most people would consider unpopular, irreverent, or unfashionable.

The fifteen personal characteristics that I have identified are discussed below. They are not for the meek or the fainthearted. Do not dabble in them casually. You must be intimately acquainted with each of them. Remember that your best strategies are those that your competitor least understands and least expects. For this reason, once these qualities become ingrained personal attributes, they must become invisible so that no-one will recognise the source of your strength.

Personal quality 1 — Obstinacy

If, in your résumé, you were to describe yourself as obstinate, you will likely be thought to mean pig-headed, stubborn, inflexible, or unreasonable. In fact, obstinacy can help you to overcome difficulties through boldness and daring. The wisdom of the ages tells us, ‘When in doubt, don’t do it!’ I would venture to say that when in doubt, and you have no other feasible alternative, drive on, press on, move on, and confront the obstacles that are hindering or tormenting you. Leapfrog over those people who confuse and stifle you and your team. In a word: charge! Let no-one stand in your way.

Diplomacy is a waste of time. It saps your energy, gives your competitor legitimacy, and slows you down so that you can be attacked like a sitting duck. The only time that diplomacy is important is when the other party has the upper hand. If you know what you want, go after it. Grab what is yours, and then you can decide what you want to hand back.

Inevitably, worthwhile treasures are hidden behind obstacles, and the only way to overcome relentless and indiscriminate difficulties is via relentless and uncompromising persistence. If you do not inject your project with obstinacy and persistence, you stand to be dictated to, by other people’s whims and desires.

For example, if you want to write a book and you give up because publishers turn you down, what does that say about your determination? What a publisher might think of your project ought to have no bearing on your mission. Why would you allow a total stranger, who has no passion for your project, to tell you, via a simple rejection letter, that your ideas are not good enough? History is replete with examples of successful people who refused to let others stop them. They found a way. Allow no-one to rearrange your purpose for living.

Personal quality 2 — Relinquishment

Learn to empty your mind, to erase your strategies, to discard the recipes, and to abandon your maxims. Then start again. If you arrive at the same conclusion, well and good. If you draft a new way, so be it. Whatever the case, be sure to test yourself by letting go of what you know, then go in search of the truth once more. This is just like hitting the reset button. You need to flush the system regularly, or risk burdening yourself with baggage that will weigh you down in the guise of customs and traditions.