The following are approximately the first 1000 words from Chapter 18 of Jonar Nader’s book, How to Lose Friends and Infuriate Your Boss.

Over my dead body

In the line of duty

In the workplace, the ill-conceived concept of ‘consensus management’ seeks to solicit everyone’s opinion and then it tries to obtain everyone’s consent. Managers are told that seeking opinion is inclusive and seeking consent is democratic. Managers who do not consult with others are accused of being dictators or autocrats.

We have conditioned our society to believe that if enough of us agree with certain information, then that information must be true; and if the majority disagrees with it, it must be false. We have reduced truth and justice to a democratic vote. Surely truth is not to be insulted by opinion — meaning that truth is not a question of popularity or expedience. Similarly, justice is not to be impaired by judgement — meaning that justice is not a question of proof and explanation.

When it comes to the notion of agreement and disagreement, people find it difficult to process information neutrally; meaning that they cannot help but judge, grade, rank, and categorise information.

This chapter outlines the burdens of acting on information that is presented to employees by the boss. Workers seem to think that if they disagree with the boss, it would be reason enough to mount a challenge. Workers presume that modern participatory approaches (fuelled by diplomacy and democracy gone mad) give them licence to challenge authority.

Some modern workers belong to the new order of liberated employees who have the temerity to defy their manager’s decisions. Their behaviour ventures into the land of disrespect and borders on recalcitrance. Such liberated employees are more aptly called ‘detached’ employees who do not understand the bigger picture. They have no respect for authority — especially for managers whom they genuinely despise. Detached employees are a nuisance because they equate authority with admiration and mistake position with popularity.

If you are an employee who desires to do your best for your career, you need to start to do your best for your boss. The typical outcry is, ‘How can I respect a boss who isn’t deserving of such respect?’ This can be overcome when you realise three things. First, when you do your best for your boss, you are in fact doing your best for your own sake. This does not mean that you should appease the boss just to receive favours or dodge scorn. It refers to the building of excellence through the daily delivery of excellence. Would champion swimmers protest against their unpleasant coach by reducing their speed while training? If you hold back your best, you are cheating yourself.

Second, I am not casting judgement about whether or not your boss deserves your loyalty. It is not a question of the person or the personality, but one of position and office. You might not respect your boss ‘the person’, but you must respect your boss ‘the office bearer’. For example, when citizens salute their national flag, are they saluting the piece of cloth? Surely they are declaring their support to their constitution, to their form of government, to their leaders, and to their laws. When urged to respect the boss, employees are being urged to pay respect to the ‘position’ because it is their duty to pay attention, to give respect, and to provide loyalty.

Third, it is incumbent upon you to earn your right to demand respect and loyalty from your subordinates by behaving respectfully and loyally to your boss. Otherwise, on what basis would you be able to exercise your powers over your current or future subordinates?

In the line of duty

As an employee, your first loyalty is to your boss, regardless of whether or not your boss is deserving of your attention and commitment. Even if you have to contend with an incompetent manager, you must deliver on your commitments. Avoid the temptation to treat bad bosses badly.

Are you honest with some people while dishonest with others? If so, what does that make you? Are you pleasant to some colleagues yet vulgar to others? What does that say about you?

Integrity is not something that can be applied selectively. Virtue is not a tool that can be called upon randomly. Honour is not a façade that can be erected arbitrarily. Loyalty is not a gift that can be given discriminatingly.

For beauty to exude, it must be all encompassing. For professionalism to survive, it must be undeviating. If you allow another person’s ethics to dictate your behaviour, you lack conviction. If you can be swayed by your manager’s moods or values, you lack your own direction.

Excellence as an employee must be your aim, regardless of your manager’s station in life. Would Michelangelo have painted a less stunning ceiling at the Sistine Chapel if he disliked his master? In fact, his master did torment him, but he did not allow that to affect his craft.

When you work, you must give your all, not so that your boss can be pleased, but so that you can grow. Michelangelo was not enthusiastic about leaving his projects to start on the Sistine Chapel. He had a team of painters assigned to work with him. He could have made his life easy by delegating the whole job to his workers. Instead, he dismissed them all because they were not achieving his level of workmanship, and he decided to paint the ceiling single-handedly in order to maintain the quality he demanded. He would neither compromise his craft nor allow others to lower his standards.

Eyes are watching

Incongruence shatters careers and reputations. By giving your best to your boss, you can fulfil your ethical and professional contracts. By exerting every bit of energy, you can work with a clear conscience. By adding value, you can claim your position. By working conscientiously, you will grow and enrich yourself. By immersing yourself in your craft and by doing a superb job, you are earning the right to demand the same diligence from your future subordinates.

If, along the road to high office, your colleagues see nothing more from you than a dubious demeanour, how can they take you seriously? What you serve upwards is what your staff will believe to be permissible. Beware that you do not lose your authority by your very actions. Your complete loyalty is not only scrutinised by your superiors, it is also observed by your subordinates and peers. When climbing the corporate ladder, do not allow your ambition to blind you. A fixation on the next promotion could easily lead to carelessness, which in turn guarantees your failure.