The following are approximately the first 1000 words from Chapter 17 of Jonar Nader’s book,
How to Lose Friends and Infuriate People.

For whom the bell tolls:

Nothing is trendy when it is popular

I was in St Louis, Missouri, on business. Coincidentally, the city was hosting 14 000 young people for a summer youth convention. As a result, my hotel had thousands of young people running around in it. One afternoon I shared the elevator with a chap whose hairdo came from the planet Zork. His trousers were so far down his waist, that I felt they would fall to the floor if he sneezed. You can imagine the brand name of his white underpants that were exposed for all to marvel at.

‘If you are so keen to impress people with your CKs, why don’t you wear your underpants on the outside of your jeans?’ I said to the sixteen year-old who was lost for words trying to decipher my Australian accent while searching for an appropriate answer. He felt pressured to respond before one of us reached our floor.

Seconds before the elevator stopped he said, ‘It wouldn’t be fashion, would it?’ That boy, and many like him, would not wear his underpants on the outside for no other reason than it would look ‘dorky’.

The interesting thing about youth culture, is the fear of being caught wearing something out of the ordinary. A few decades ago, the term ‘fashion conscious’ referred to people who were colour co-ordinated, stylish, smooth, neat, and sophisticated. These days, the term is synonymous with ‘insecure’.

He recognised me the following day, and we greeted each other. I asked him if he would ever contemplate wearing lipstick. He rejected the idea as too radical and ‘uncool’. What fascinates me about insecure people is that they will do the strangest of things, so long as it can be called ‘cool’. Having one’s trousers down past the hipbone is cool. This was not always the case, and will not always be the case. Once this trend passes, that young man will engage in another inexplicable fashion statement. It might be lipstick, but for now, he cannot contemplate this or any other radical suggestion. ‘No way,’ was his response to any of the other foreign suggestions I made. So I asked him to forecast what might be cool in the future. He could not think of one thing. Not a single thing was acceptable to him. Doubtless, he will be swept away by the next trend, as easily as he is currently riding the modern wave. Many people do not understand that fashion is transient. Stare long enough at a modern design and you will soon see how old-fashioned it appears.

In this chapter, I hope to alert you to concepts of trends and traditions as they pertain to our life. In particular, I will focus on the pressures that we inflict on people who do not have the latest qualifications. I cannot believe the stupidity of some corporations that truly believe that candidates without MBAs need not bother applying for a position with the firm. Recently, a friend and ex-colleague who used to report to me in the good old days, called to tell me that despite his experience, he was finding it difficult to be taken seriously by the large consulting firms. My friend is one of those rare star performers who has headed up corporations around the world. He is as bright and as capable as they come. His corporate results are absolutely first-class. However, he does not have an MBA, and as a result, no-one wants to give him the time of day. Too unbelievable for words. The trend says MBA, so the crowd says MBA.

If you engage in any kind of ritual, or if you endorse any form of traditional behaviour, or if you jump onto any bandwagon, take a good look at what you are doing. Chances are, you are a member of the majority who follows the trends, while deluding yourself that you are being modern or innovative. This is laughable. When you are being trendy, you are following the pack, which means that you are a member of the masses. The masses are not pioneers. They do not discover new things. They do not capture new markets. So perhaps a trendy company is a laggard that will feel the urge to run to the next trend when it realises that it will be left behind if it does not catch up. However, catching up to the masses is not called innovation. It’s called mediocrity.

There are people who believe that a life of mediocrity is a noble one. There is nothing wrong with taking it easy and going with the flow. However, do not confuse mediocrity with stability. Stability is noble because it provides an environment for calmness. What people do not realise is that stability requires much strength. Deciding to ‘take it easy’ can only work if you are independent. Therefore, resisting turbulence requires supreme power. A helicopter can hover, but it cannot rest its engines while hovering. Organisations and individuals who desire a life of peace would be mistaken if they presume that they can turn the engines off.

Taking a stand, and going your own way, is much more intense than going with the flow. For that reason, many organisations are quite happy to follow the trends. You see, they have no choice. They do not have the wherewithal to take the lead or to carve a new path, so they follow the masses lest they wither away in the wilderness. When organisations chant the mantra of change, they are not really interested in change. They are petrified of being left behind.

The current craze of tertiary studies and MBAs and PhDs is demanded by the masses. Therefore, anyone who questions the trends is seen as a troublemaker. Well, true to form, allow me to question the trends.

Celebration by obligation

A friend of mine had booked a table for a party of eight at a plush city restaurant nestled inside a huge international hotel. I accepted his kind invitation to a Christmas luncheon. Afterwards, four of us went for a walk. When we returned to the hotel, where my car was parked, we sat in the lobby to rest for a while.

Everywhere I looked, I could see tinsel, garland, Christmas trees, fairy lights, and empty boxes wrapped up to look like presents. You can guess the kind of music that bellowed from speakers high up in the ceiling.