Infuriate People

Infuriate People – Chapter 25

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The following are approximately the first 1000 words from Chapter 25 of Jonar Nader’s book,
How to Lose Friends and Infuriate People.

The eight wonders of the networked world:

Pre-empting future challenges

Rivalry is a destructive force that shrouds itself in a playful mask. We observe it between teams, nations, cities, and families. What starts out as a bit of slap-and-tickle ends up a serious division between polarised groups. One-upmanship emerges as each party displays its supremacy while ridiculing the other.

Apart from the traditional interdepartmental rifts within organisations, there are serious divisions between those who ‘do and count’ and those who ‘count and do’. In other words, between those who make things happen (and then measure what happened) and those who wait for things to happen (and then comment on what took place). Typically, this occurs between marketing and finance staff. While the marketing folk are pioneering, the finance fraternity is displeased that activity can take place before it has been proved to be feasible.

The ‘prove it to me first’ syndrome presupposes that we live in a ‘measurable’ world. While some business operators find it impossible to make a decision unless its inputs and outputs can be calculated, others are quite happy to get on with the job and let the process of measurement keep track of the past, not restrict its movement into the future.

Ask CEOs if they would like to know (in advance) the major challenges that their organisation would face in the future, and you’ll hear a resounding ‘yes’ even though most of them would consider it a rhetorical question, similar to ‘would you like to know next week’s winning lottery numbers?’

Some people are unable to seriously contemplate scenarios that cannot be punched into a computer spreadsheet. For them, possibilities can only be contemplated if they can be weighed up. This causes a communications breakdown between sales and marketing, between operations and finance, between design and manufacturing, between head office and field staff, and between the whole organisation and its customers. This is the result of rivalry between those who insist on proof, and futurists who are accused of having their head in the clouds.

In an effort to heal the wounds between the logical and the creative and between the analysts and the visionaries, here are eight questions that will point the way to a successful future.

Those who can embrace, and act upon, the essence and wisdom of these questions will place themselves in good stead to greet the future. Those who ignore them are likely to find the future less kind to their efforts.

These eight scenarios could give you clues about the future and what it might demand of you. By preparing for these eventualities, you will be in a better position to absorb surprises.

1) What would happen if you had to pay for putting your customers on hold?

If your organisation makes a habit of putting clients on hold, then consider that in the future, you might be liable to pay for the clients’ time. Even if you estimate a modest dollar amount per hour, calculate what kind of exposure this would represent. Can you afford this kind of liability? If the figures alarm you, then you can engineer your future by doing something to fix the issues at their root. It is not a question of hiring more staff members to take more calls. It is a matter of working out why the call rates are high in the first place. Could it be that your products are not performing as they should be? Maybe your customers are so confused that they need help to decipher your product’s installation instructions.

Whether or not laws will be passed in relation to this is not the point. Many organisations have boasted about how they have reduced their operating expenses. In many cases, all that they have managed to do is shift the expense from their camp to the customers’.

2) What would happen if the money you receive from a customer freezes when your product fails?

In the networked world, money will be linked to performance. This means that any product that you sell had better work. If it does not work, then the money you received from your customer will freeze in your bank account. Corporate wealth will be calculated on how well you deliver on your promise, not on how high your revenue is. Technologists might argue that it is neither feasible nor possible to produce fault-free products. That argument, although convenient, is unethical. When someone pays $100 for a product, that money is perfect money. It does not break down, it does not require service calls, it does not perish, and it does not stop working. Therefore, when manufacturers take the consumers’ perfect money, what gives them the right to dish out rubbish? (For more on this subject, see Chapter 19, ‘Customer service — my foot!’)

3) What would happen if those who did not like their job did not go to work tomorrow?

Not long ago, employees who changed employers were considered to be a risk. These days, there is no stigma attached to wandering talent. Instead, the embarrassment befalls employers who are careless with staff. In certain industries, the choice exists for workers to move to a different company, to resign to start their own business or consulting practice, and to retire, if they are wealthy.

It had better be a matter of urgency for you to learn about your staff members’ morale, their happiness, their contentment, and what it is that agitates them or makes them dislike their work environment. Once you have identified those who dislike their job, ask yourself what would happen to your business if they decided not to turn up to work. If your business would suffer as a result of this sudden rebellion, then you had better do something about the notions of fun, contentment, happiness, job satisfaction, and engagement. Are you engaging your people in your business and the industry? (For more on this subject, see Chapter 16, ‘Ready … aim… now what?’)

4) What would happen if you were forced to disclose your faults prior to making a sale?

What if all the complaint statistics and product faults were available for your potential customers to inspect on the Web? This would mean that anyone could inspect the latest series of complaints and faults relating to a product before making a decision to purchase it.

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