From Lose Friends Radio comes this ‘Believe it or not’ segment Number 11, called ‘Sporting life’. You can read the transcript below, or listen to the original broadcast by clicking on the green play button: [audio:Jonar_Nader_11_BION_Sporting_life.mp3]
Believe it or not, according to Jonar Nader, in an effort to attract more people to a sporting life, a Birmingham sports association has invented a range of new sports
The first in the series is called Slopper — this is derived from “sloping soccer”. It’s a game of soccer played on a sloping and undulating field. The field is the same size as a regular field, except that it resembles a miniature golf course contains bumps, humps, slopes, and sand dunes. All rules remain the same, the only difference being the terrain.
The association has been criticised by many professionals who, not only claim that the new fields will be dangerous, but that the new game make a mockery of the original.
Three of the most famous soccer clubs have already sought legal advice with a view to blocking the new sport, suggesting that its inventors are illegally copying the original rules, and that the intellectual property in the game belongs to the Soccer Federation.
Other sports in the series include “Swim-Spa” in an Olympic-sized pool containing high-pressure jets that transforms the average swim into a challenging battle against the currents. There is another variation called “surf swim” which adds artificial waves into the equation.
The innovation to tennis will see it played on a slippery court, with oil sprayed on the surface to ensure that the players slip and slide athletically while trying to hit a vulcanised rubber ball.
Even table tennis has been subjected to drastic innovation with the introduction of grooves to the table. These are spaced one inch apart in a grid format to cause havoc with the ball, making each bounce completely unpredictable.
The marketing arm of the “Daring Sports” association, intimated that they have already mapped out variations to thirty different sports, and are planning to launch a worldwide franchise. Their hope is that, in due course, some of their sports will be included in the Olympic Games.
“Our concepts seem unusual now but every sport sounded weird when it was first invented,” said the chairman. “Don’t forget that when beach volleyball was introduced, it was met with ridicule. Now it is a popular Olympic sport.”
Believe it… or not.
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